Self-care is such a hot topic of discussion. Everyone preaches self-care and how you should take time out for yourself and so something to spoil yourself. Most times self-care is depicted as bubble baths; masks and a glass of wine. Although that is one way to do your self-care. It isn’t always feasible and you shouldn’t feel bad if you can’t do that or book yourself a trip out of town on a whim all in the name of self-care.
I’ve always struggled with self-care. I have always felt like I could never do self-care right because truthfully, I don’t like a bubble bath. I don’t enjoy stewing in my own dirt and hoping my laptop or phone does not fall into the water. This has always made me feel like I didn’t ‘get’ self-care because this is how it was done on Instagram and my self-care was not like that. P.S: Follow me on Instagram here.
This has been going on for years until I recently came to this HUGE realization that OMG, self-care can be how I want it to be and how I feel like I should do self-care. There are many ways I practise self-care without hurting my friends and feel like I am failing to do self-care like all them Instagram models.
So what exactly is REAL LIFE self-care?
To me, self-care is getting things done that you need to do even though you don’t want to do them or claim you don’t have time. They are also the things that you are avoiding because you do not want to be an adult.
One of the biggest things for me is going to the doctor and trying to sort out my health. To me, my health has never been important. I have always been busy and not ‘able’ to go to the doctor because I am always too busy. I also gave the excuse that I didn’t have good enough health insurance and I can’t afford it. One day I got super mad that I wasn’t feeling good yet again. My health insurance still hasn’t changed and instead of being all woe is me, I did some research and I am not going to see a doctor in my local community health center that helps people with horrible insurance or no insurance at all. It has been such an eye-opener and I am so glad I am getting answers as to why I am feeling like I am.
Another thing that I needed to do and just started doing one day is saving. I have always been an awful saver. Never saved. I always spent my money as it came and then complained I had no money. Eventually, I realized that I am NOT good at saving money when it is in my account. I started drawing out cash and using a cup as a savings account. It is one of the most impractical things I have done BUT I have saved a good chunk of money now. I know I could be getting good interest if I put it in a bank account but I still don’t trust myself. When I do, I will put it in an account and take it from there. That was my biggest form of self-care in 2019.
Those are such real examples of how we neglect ourselves and then always preach self-care. Other examples are looking at your finances and cancel subscriptions that you don’t use. Go to the gym. Find a class that you enjoy doing so that you don’t waste money on gyms or other classes you don’t like. Speak to the person who has hurt you and you are still upset about it. Sometimes just booking your dentist appointment or facing something you have been avoiding is the best form of self-care.
Remember: self-care looks different on everyone
So stop beating yourself up about not having self-care and then failing to do things that you really need to do to make yourself feel better. Life is hard and it gets a bit much sometimes. It is so important to look after yourself even when you don’t want to.
If you want to read more about Instagram and the unrealistic expectations I put myself under, you can read it here. Otherwise, if you have any stories as to what self-care you have done recently, let me know. I would love to hear about it.